Fun for Twihaters

I recently discovered this very funny article at io9: "If Famous writers had written Twilight." What was even more fun, was the original article written by Lizzie Stark and her ranting about Meyer's bad writing style. To be honest, I quite enjoyed the first book but reading these articles and - even better - the comments, I could not help myself but fall from the couch laughing. Unfortunately, she did not come up with "unicycle"'s version: if Dr. Seuss had written Twilight. I'm pretty sure most of you in the US know Dr. Seuss' books, unfortunately he's not as famous here in Germany. For those who don't know: he's the guy who wrote childrens books like "The Cat with the Hat", "Horton hears a Who" and "How the Grinch stole Christmas". Writing style: ab rhyme form.

So without further ado, my laugh-out-loud of the week:

 

Twilight, by Dr. Seuss


Jake likes a girl. Her name is Bella.
Bella likes a different fella.


See this vamp? This is Ed.
Ed is pale. Ed is dead.


Ed saved Bella from a van.
Ed must be a special man.

 

Ed won't kill boys. He won't kill girls.
Ed gets fed on deer and squirrels.

 

This is James. He's a tracker.
He's a sort of vamp attacker.

 

James hunts Bella for a thrill.
Will Ed kill him? Yes, he will.

 

But James gave her a little bite.
Will she be a vamp? She might!

 

Edward fixes Bella's cut.
She won't be a vampire.

But...

She becomes one. Read some more.
She's a vampire in book 4.

 

~ Lilith ~

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